Having an Empty Nest ~ The Good, the Bad, & the Weird

Today I’m going to talk about my new life {so to say} as an empty nester.  My son left for college about 7 weeks ago, which you may have heard me mention a time or two!  It’s a strange new world & I thought I’d share a little about my {limited} experience in having an empty nest.  Maybe it will help someone in the same boat, but mostly it’s just therapeutic for me to write about it!  : )

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Senior Year

I always thought I would be okay with my son leaving & it wouldn’t affect me too much.  I’m a very independent person & I raised my son to be that way.  How hard could it be to watch him move on when that was the goal all along?  Harder than I expected!  Almost as soon as he was registered for his senior year in high school, I start crying.  It just got worse the closer it came to graduation.

I would just be going about the normal routine & realize things that would be different once he was gone.  I mean when you take care of someone for 18 years, it’s hard to let that go!

Graduation night I was a mess!  It didn’t help that his last name put him at almost the end of over 200 graduates.  Once it was finally over, I was so proud & happy.  It seemed I just needed to get past that point.  Wrong again!

Move Out Day

My son decided to stay home for the summer as many do.  He looked for a part time job which didn’t come about until a month before he would leave.  Since I teach, I had the summer off as well.

I really enjoyed being able to spend that time with him.  At one point I worried that he wouldn’t be leaving.  He still hadn’t registered for college or started any paper work.  As much as I would miss him, I knew I had to push him a little.

He finally got the ball rolling at the beginning of September.  This required several emails, trips, & phone calls between here and Atlanta, which is 3 hours away.  Move in day was September 27th.

We spent the week before packing & sorting & crying {me}.  Early that morning we {husband, son, & me} all packed into the vehicle which just had room for us to sit by that point.  I held it together during the drive up, through orientation {so long!}, & moving him into the apartment.

Then the flood gates opened!

The day was stressful & my son moved into an apartment with already established students.  They were still out on break, so he was alone.  It was really hard to leave him there by himself, but I did.

Then I cried for the first 45 minutes of the ride back.  Big, heart wrenching tears & gulps.  Such a mess!

Finally I texted him to check on him & one of the roommates had shown up.  That made me feel marginally better.  We texted almost daily until he started classes.  It slowed a little & there have been some phone calls.

Not daily, but that’s because he’s doing well & that’s great & I’m happy for him.

I’m still struggling a little!

As I try to find my new “normal” I’ve realized it’s not all bad.  There’s some good & some weird things that come along with being an empty nester.  Maybe they’re only weird to me, but maybe some can relate!

The Good, the Bad, & the Weird

Okay, let’s get the bad out of the way first!  And these things are not necessarily bad, just hard.

• We used to watch shows on TV together.  We’d climb on my bed, grab a snack, & discuss as we watched.  My husband doesn’t like talking when he’s watching TV!  Boo!
• The conversations.  My son would just come in and tell me all about whatever he was into at the moment.  I miss that.
• Riding home or anywhere alone.  My son rode home with me from school because I taught at his school.  He would ride with me to the store & help with groceries.  Now it’s lots of lonely riding.
• No help with taking out the trash & walking the dogs!  Those were my son’s duties.  All I had to do was remind him to do them.  Now, they are my duties!  Well, my husband & I are learning to split them.  We just have to remember to take out the trash! ; )
• I miss my son’s experiments.  He was always wanting to try some experiment he saw on YouTube & I had to be sure of the safety of these experiments.  Sometimes it was just finding a new recipe to try out.

The Good

These are just things I’ve noticed & thought, hey, that’s a plus to having an empty nest!

• Less trash.  Even though I have to remember to take it out, there seems to be a lot less of it!
• Less dishes to wash.  My son had a thing about not using a glass or dish for a different type of food or drink because it would be mixed up.  Yeah, he’s kind of over that now since he has to wash his own things!
• Less clothes to wash.  This is really only one less load & he was doing it himself before he left.  My husband’s work clothes take up most of the washing!
• No getting up at 5:30 a.m. to take my son to the bus stop.  It was only at the end of the drive, but it was dark & there was no shelter.  So I drove him – mom’s prerogative!
• Food lasts longer!  Anyone with more than one teenager – I feel for you!  Constant eating!

The Weird

These are things that I didn’t expect & I may be the only one that thinks they’re weird! ; )

• I feel free.  It’s a really weird feeling to realize you don’t have to be responsible for your child anymore.  I mean, I’m still here when he needs me, but now I can choose not to be!  Not that I would ever do that, but it’s a choice I have now.  ; )
• I feel like I’m forgetting something constantly.  Sometimes I’m really forgetting something, but usually it’s just because my son’s not with me.
• The fact that I feel free & like I’m forgetting something at the same time is a weird feeling all around!

All in all, it’s a new phase in my life.  I’m learning to live life without a kid in the house & how to cook for only two normal bellies!  It’s a new adventure & I’m just getting started!  : D

By the way, don’t miss out on this awesome crafting giveaway from Ultimate Bundles!  I’m so jealous that I can’t enter!

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